Name: Nobody, I am told
DOB: The eleventh day of the eleventh month of the eighty-eighth year of the twentieth century...
Weight: 118 lbs.
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Dark Brown
Hair Style: Semi-short and dangly
Complexion: Moderately pale (Surprisingly I have both a strong influence of Native American and Celtic blood in me.)
Muscle Mass: Lean and Muscled
Defining Features: Eyes and, now hidden, Scars on face
1.Black High Top Chuck Taylors, Black Polyester Slacks, White Short Sleeve 'Dress Shirt' w/ black tie, choker and wristbands.
2. Black Russian Military Police Jacket w/ glock pocket and 'Nobody' nametag and 'Nobody' patch on back.
Why does the myth of pure evil continue to exert such a hold over the way people think, when it so rarely corresponds to the reality of events?
Thursday, April 08, 2004
Cool my brains and soothe my head
Stimulate me my Co-co-co
Sneak into my empty bed
And educate me my Co-co-co
In the summer in the spring
In public places my Co-co-co
On an island far away
Lemonade me my Co-co-co
And when I was down and failing life
You can't save me my Co-co-co
And when they said I'm telling lies
You believed me my Co-co-co
And through the noise I heard a song
You were singing my Co-co-co
And when you said that nothings wrong
I believed you my Co-co-co
But you were gone when I came through
And I remember you- first
When someday I'll dance with you
When I'm dreaming my Co-co-co
I sat alone and I didn't care
I sat two years in the same old chair
I saw three roads and I didn't know
Which way to go-go-go
I need some help from a little love
I need some help from a little above
And you were there I'm still in love
I wont forget Coco
I won't forget you Coco [X3]
I won't forget you no no [X4]
Because your my Coco, your my Coco, My Coco
Your my Coco, Yeah, my Coco
I've learned that eating chocolate won't solve your problems, but it doesn't hurt anything either. -Me, April 8th, 2004
"...the taste is sweeter when you have no tongue...don't speak then..."
OneHeadlight logged-out at 11:25pm, April 8th, 2004
Posted at 8.4.04 by OneHeadlight
Saturday, March 20, 2004
It hurts too much, all too much. -Z. Stolley, August 28, 2002
Hurt me if you want to. I've seen it all, or I think I have, but where's the difference?
-Z. Stolley, June 13, 2003
I have discovered that even in the face of pain that seems unbearable, even in the face of pain that wrings the last drop of blood out of your heart and leaves its scrimshaw tracery on the inside of your skull, life goes on. And the pain grows dull, and begins to fade. -Nobody, March 20, 2004
Posted at 20.3.04 by OneHeadlight
Friday, March 19, 2004
The Song Remains The Same
The question is not "Will this happen?", but "will I let it happen if it will?" or "will I fight for it to happen it if it won't?"
Posted at 19.3.04 by OneHeadlight
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Sometimes you can be astonished by someone so much that you want to pretend nothing happened in your life before you met them. You say nothing about the past because you want the person to erase you and remake you into something completely new, something in their image, something better. Rei was that sort of person for me. Dr. Irving, on the other hand, made me want to talk about everything. -Z. Stolley, September 17th, 2003
Posted at 16.3.04 by OneHeadlight
Sunday, March 14, 2004
I truly wonder if it is possible to ever know a person. I think we decide who a person is in the first few seconds of seeing them. It's a pure moment of recognition, almost animal-like, instinctive. Over time things get piled on that image, the stuff of the personality, psychology, and then I think that maybe I never knew them at all. A maze begins, a process of getting to know them and you have to really love the person to walk it. Like Kim--I don't even know what her favourite food is or where she goes when she wants to be alone. And Shauna. I thought I knew her because I could feel her inside me like some majikal force but if someone came along and asked me if she was a good person or a bad person I wouldn't know what to say to them. I mean, those are the important things to know about a person--whether they're evil or not. -Z. Stolley, October 26, 2002
:...so very far away...I think I was wiser then...I just didn't know it at the time..."
Posted at 14.3.04 by OneHeadlight
Saturday, March 13, 2004
Counting My Blessings(Sardonic)
1 1 1 for my pain and
2 2 2 for how it drives me insane and
3 3 3 for my heartache and
4 4 4 for my headaches and
5 5 5 for my lonely and
6 6 6 for my sorrow and
7 7 for no tomorrow and
8 8 I forget what 8 was for and
9 9 9 for my lost role in it all and
10 10 10 10 for everything
everything, everything, everything else.
Posted at 13.3.04 by OneHeadlight
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Had a daft conversation with Buddha Joe to-day. It initially started out about the new women in his life and he then steered it into how I need a girl and how I don't pursue enough. He says I need to 'hunt them down' so that they come to me. That I need to put on 'the charm', 'hook and reel them in'. He also goes on to say that I could 'bang almost any girl I wanted' if I just tried. How about no? If love happens for me because I am what I am, then that's love. Not some pipe dream hoax. I'd rather die a very lonely man than to live an accompanied life like that.Yes, I have 'flirted' intentionally, but that is a very, very rare event and I have never received any signs back anyway. Well, maybe I have, but I was too stupid to notice. But there's no way to prove that. And they obviously didn't follow through with 'their end of the deal'.
Paul and I have also had a conversation about this. We both seem to be regarded as 'loving, caring, and devoted' individuals and yet the 'lying, cheating, uncaring' types seem to be in style. It's the ones who don't give a damn, are untrustworthy, and in it for the sex and mere fooling around. Hmmm, so basically I need to be an asshole to find 'love'. How about no? Now, one could say "I don't want a serious relationship, just playful'. What about 'playfully serious' or 'seriously playful'? And why the fuck does it need to be labeled into a categorie before it even starts in the first place? Why can't the two just see how it goes and go from there?
To sum everything up; People should be loved for who they are. Give me a clear sign. Stop labeling.
Your Seduction Stye: "Au Natural"
You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism
You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?
You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.
Posted at 9.3.04 by OneHeadlight
Monday, March 08, 2004
Start Me Up/ Old Time Rock & Roll
So far to-day has been painful, in a physical sense that is. Woke up at about 4:30am, went to get out of bed, muscle spasm, fell out of bed(bunk bed), couldn't get back up, laid there for a few minutes with my body in a strange position, Clancy comes in and sits on my neck, mum calls Clancy, Clancy gets off, I eventually get up with much pain. I was barely able to get up and walk to me mother, and with one look, she said you're staying home. Found my way back up into my bed, laid there for an hour or two wide awake. Felt a little better, and made my way to the couch on the first floor, that is after I found the second floor, had an intimate conversation with it, stumbled down the stairs, and had another intimate conversation with the first floor at the bottom of the stairs. Rested on the couch, listened to the Music Choice Channels(Classic Rock, Alternative). Bob Seger's 'Old Time Rock & Roll' came on, reminded me of film that had Tom Cruise dancing in his underwear to it. Oh, I could do the underwear part pretty easily, the dancing...let's just say the thought put me into even more pain. In short; my morning was uneventful.
Took a few quizzes last nite that Kayla had sent me.
>You Are a Romantic Kiss!
You are an idealist, and unsurprisingly, you give the ideal kiss
Your kiss causes almost anyone to fall in love with you
And to be honest, you need to be falling a little to let your lips loose
No biggie… your kiss is worth the wait :-)
>You are Footsie!
You're into turning your partner on...
But you just like to keep it on the down low.
You can get things totally fired up - without anyone the wiser.
You work your foreplay technique everywhere
From family dinners to work meetings.
It's all good - as long as you keep your foot in the right crotch!
>You Are a Galaxy Vibe!
Completely out of this world
Your twists and turns drive people crazy
Weird looking? Sure.
But the softest touch? You bet.
>You Do It Like a Gay Girl!
Even if you're not a girl's girl, you act like one.
You tend to form deep, long lasting loves…
And after you've gazed into one another's souls
The battery operated sex follows!
(Told you I was lesbien, Grace)
I will question my sexuality for weeks to follow....
Posted at 8.3.04 by OneHeadlight
Saturday, March 06, 2004
>You are an angel of the forest. You love to have a good time and to get in trouble. For you, it's all fun and games. You like to have friends, preferably not human, and can converse with all animals. You love to party, and like to be alone. You are a deep person, but most people miss it. Thinking that you are just childish and young. Which you are not. You are old, and wise, even if nobody can see it. You know what the real world is like, better that your peers. You have a naturally beatiful singing voice, and are a natural with most instruments. You can often lose your self. But will always find yourself again. For that is just who you are. Be happy. Never change. Because you are beautiful.
>hand holding - you like to be in constant physical contact with your special someone but you don't want to take things too quickly.
>Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but its there, and your friends can see it. You constantly feel alone, and need to do things to fill your time. You're afraid to tell people this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad way, and you think you screwed up everything. And when you are in love is when you are sad the most. (Nobody's Comment: When that which I love is no longer there, I am the saddest. Not simply when I am in love. Unrequited love is a terrible thing too. I hate unrequited love.)
Well isn't that nice. I'm a forest angel. Why am I not in the forest? My sign of affection is holding hands. Where is the hand of the other person? Hell, where is the other person? And loneliness is what surrounds me.
In Short: I'm a lonely person who needs some to really show they care with affection all the whilst being in the forest.
In Short #2: Find me somebody to love who loves me back affectionately, who will go for walks with me in the forest so I won't be lonely.
Shorter: I need somebody who I love and who loves me.
Posted at 6.3.04 by OneHeadlight
Friday, March 05, 2004
To-day was an 'up day', tomorrow could easily be a 'down day'. I am not entirely 'depressed', nor am I entirely content and happy. I'm taking my mood with the whim of the moment. I do not know what I'll be like tomorrow for sure, I do not know if I'll remain 'up' for the remainder of this eve. Why? I'm still struggling with a few memories I need to let go of and a few places I need to find placement in. I'm just 'unsettled' more or so. And it's going to take me awhile to resettle to what once was, and maybe settle into what could be. Oh, well, I'll just have to wait and see. Could there be some one looking for me?
You lose yourself, you reappear
You suddenly find you got nothing to fear
Alone you stand with nobody near
When a trembling distant voice, unclear
Startles your sleeping ears to hear
That somebody thinks
They really found you.
Posted at 5.3.04 by OneHeadlight